Another step down...

Today we received our travel packet from AWAA. This means more paperwork (of course) and another list of things to worry about and try to pay for. However, we just don't see that stuff anymore. This is so weird. I'm the QUEEN of worry, for pete's sake. To quote my beloved Tom Hanks, "She makes coffee nervous." That's me. But now, on the eve of our ONE MONTH anniversary of being Ru's parents, I just don't care about money, time off work, homestudy updates, visa applications or the like. I just glance over here at this darling picture and all anxiety rolls off of me. Reagan Ru is worth it; one glance at her and everyone agrees.

We bought her dresser tonight! Ready to fill it with all these pink clothes we have received from loving family and friends. Her room is coming together, our travel packet arrived. Life is good.

She's ours but she lives far, far away

Tonight is hard. Danny is off singing in another state and I'm preparing for an HHS girls weekend. I still need to clean the bathrooms, finish packing and do satin hands before bed. Tomorrow I gotta spend some QT with my treadmill, shower, get gorgeous and be ready for my girly girls by 9am. I have plenty to do. Yet, I just watched "Raising Helen" for the 89th time and now I'm weepy.

I can not believe that Reagan is in China and not here with me. What the heck? How long must we wait for this dream to come true? I'm sick of it. I know God has a plan. I know that. I thank God for it. Lord, please give me courage and energy and a solid, positive attitude. This journey You've asked us to follow is so very hard and tonight I'm crying and getting all snotty and I just want it to be over.

Please help us to enjoy our last few precious weeks together as a beautiful duet. This is the end of an era, certainly. We're ready for it. We're ready for some new harmony. We're ready to be a trio. Watch over Ru tonight, Lord. Please let her know, somehow, let her know that we are coming.

What's next?

We wait some more.
International adoption is such a blessing--you get a baby AND a new and improved patience level. We hope to travel in July or August. Ok, that's a lie. We hope to travel tomorrow but we will PROBABLY travel in July or August.

Until then we have a lot to do to get ready including setting up Reagan's room and finishing our basement. We'll stay busy but I don't know how distracted we'll be. We have one-track minds now. Her pictures are up all over the house and we carry them with us, too. Her little face is memorized. So, no. We're not going to be distracted. We're quite focused on the prize but we recognize that God's plan and His timing are not ours. We're following God's lead, one day at a time and when He's ready, we'll hold Reagan in our arms and it'll be magic. (Or she'll scream like a banchee, wiggle out of a wet diaper and lunge back for her caregiver's embrace but to us, no matter what her reaction, it'll be magic).

I promise to write more when we know more.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face...

The process to adopt internationally is complicated, expensive and frustrating. We're skipping all of that and getting to the good stuff.

Here she is...

Ru Xian Chen was born August 22, 2006. She lives in Chenzhou City in the Hunan Province of The People's Republic of China. We will call her Reagan RuXian and maybe just use Ru as a nickname because it's such a sweet, little name and seems to sum up our baby girl.

Why China?

If I had a dime for every time we've been asked, "Why China?" we'd have this adoption paid for and then some. Sometimes I'm in a generous mood and I go through what I'm about to say here. Other times I want to say (but haven't yet) "Why NOT China?"

I began dreaming of adopting a daughter in high school. When I saw her face, she was Asian. I never really wanted to carry a child and in no way whatsoever have I ever wanted to give birth to one. I do want to be a mom, however. Adoption is the logical choice. Our daughter lives in China. We knew that in our souls years ago.

China has a population problem. There's no denying that and in an attempt to feed its people, China's government made a really stupid rule over 20 years ago. You can only have one child. There are exceptions, of course but they're expensive exceptions and most people in China don't have extra cash to throw around. So babies are abandoned.

Mostly, they're girl babies. This is NOT because the Chinese hate girls. Good golly. We've heard that ridiculous statement from seemingly intelligent people over and over again. Let me just be clear: Chinese people do not hate their daughters! The issue at hand is thousands of years of tradition versus The One Child Policy. Sons grow up, take wives and provide for their parents in every possible way. Daughters grow up, get married, leave and take care of their in-laws in every possible way. Also, handing down the family name is beyond important in China. People are poor. Sons mean security in old age. It's a painful, dreadful, unthinkable choice and thousands face it every day in China.

So...to recap...Chinese sons are an insurance policy and a way to live forever. So when the government, in an attempt to control population, put a cap on children, girls and second sons suffered. But they're not the only ones who suffer. Birthmoms who leave newborns on the steps of orphanages suffer. Fathers who take toddler daughters to train stations...and then walk away...suffer.

My heartstrings are deeply attached to China for many reasons and these are just a few of them. The plight of that scared, sorrowful mother as she gently places her daughter in bright pieces of red cloth, tugs on my heart. She wraps her up tightly. Kisses her one last time and disappears into the night. Or maybe she watches from a safe distance until her little one is found and carried away. Either way, that woman is depending on us. She's asking us to care for her baby girl as she would if she could.

We're so grateful that God uses adoption to form families, to form OUR family. Reagan is already loved by so many and she's not even here yet. She's the daughter of my heart. She's in China and we're going to get her. It's pretty much that simple.

Who The Heck Are We?

Danny and I met at church camp a thousand years ago, went to the same small liberal arts college and were married July 26, 1997.

Danny is in to music a bit more than most normal people. He plays in a bell choir, sings in church choir and a barbershop quartet and plays drums for a jazz band. He also leads children's music on Sunday mornings and is involved with a local music civic group. He also plays a lot of Xbox and is currently (frantically) finishing our basement so we'll have a guest bedroom and bath.

In his spare time, the hospital pays Danny to be their network administrator (computer geek) and he's been there going on eight years now.

I sing in our church choir, too but people don't fall to pieces when I miss a Sunday here and there the way they do when Danny's gone. Mostly I blend in and try to stay on pitch. I watch HGTV more than I should, exericise less than I should and read pretty much constantly. I scrapbook and make cards. I write stuff that will never be published but which won't leave my head until I put it on paper. I absolutely never refuse a piece of key lime pie.

I began working in a library when I was fifteen. That was fifteen years ago. I finished my master's degree in library science from Emporia State University in 2002. I'm currently employed as an interlibrary loan librarian and I coordinate adult programs for Ottawa Library.

I think that gives you enough information on us. Let's talk about REAGAN!!