Packing...as an avoidance mechanism

First of all, my parents bought us possibly the largest suitcases in history. The only things larger are those trunks from "Joe Versus the Volcano." Admit it. You remember them. Every time Joe was in trouble, his oversized, nothing-can-destroy-us trunks would float by and he'd be saved whether from mystery water creature or drowning or volcano eruption. He camped out on them, got inside them to retreive supplies, heck he golfed on them. Man, I love that show. But I don't think that was my point originally.

My point is that we have big bags...and I'm filling them very quickly. How does one pack for a baby we've never met? I don't know what she's eating. I don't know if she's grown herself some teeth. I don't know what she is allergic to. She may hate pink and pretty much pink is the only color of her wardrobe right now. I have no idea how big she is so I have to pack a variety of sizes in hopes one or two of them will actually fit her. I don't know her eating or sleeping schedule.

I was staring at the suitcases earlier, just daring them to give me trouble, when it hit me: I'm stark raving mad. Who does this? People don't accidentally adopt babies. My friend Jessica has a little surprise! baby growing inside her right now. But we discussed it the other day and frankly, surprise adoptions just don't exist. I didn't accidentally fill out 5 inches of paperwork or by chance let people into my house to inspect our plug-in placement. No, sir. We did this fully and wholeheartedly and seemingly without the influence of narcotics.

Now I'm packing to become a mother on the other side of the world in a country where I speak the wrong language to a baby who may or may not be interested in us being her parents.

And, really I think that's why I find myself focused on packing these outrageous pieces of luggage. I can control packing. I can conquer packing. Packing is my friend. If I think about what's at the other end of this journey I will break out in hives from sheer happiness combined with the knowledge that I'm an idiot.

Orphanage news..

The thing is, my kid lives in an orphanage in China. This puts a damper on our relationship in so many ways. I'm done with this form of childcare and I don't recommend it to others. I'd like to just SKIP this and bring Reagan home, for crying out loud. That being said, if you have to spend time in institutional care, the Chenzhou City Social Welfare Institute is a 5-star establishment.

I've only heard good things about her orphanage and the "aunties" and directors who care for the children. A woman who just visited Ru's town last week said they've all made it through the floods and the orphanage was just fine. Thank God! She also told me that my daughter was being well cared for and loved.

Most likely we will not get to visit Ru's orphanage. I'd really like to see her home but the woman I just mentioned had to plan her trip months in advance and since China isn't exactly forthcoming with travel arrangments, I don't see this little excursion as part of our visit. Ru will be brought to the Hunan Province capitol, Changsha and we will meet her there at the Civil Affairs Office. We'll go some day though. I want to say thank you to the men and women who cared for our daughter and I want to see her world since I've missed out on so much.

Our LOA arrived today!

This won't mean much to those outside the adoption community but for those of you who understand...

Our LOA came today on Day 55 of the wait. This is INSANE. I've never seen one come so quickly and this means our TA could literally be here in 3 weeks or so. WOW. So today was good and crazy and OVERWHELMING.

We know we won't have the basement finished in time now. We've just come to terms with that. Daddy will be here for a week after we bring Reagan home and he and Danny can tackle the basement then and hopefully get it finished up. Whew. I'm off to make lists (one of my real talents) and then start tossing stuff in our enormous suitcases.

Reagan, your parents are on their way, Baby!

Too much to hope for...

I'm kinda sick with excitement inside tonight. We know two couples who leave for China on Wednesday. Their daughters live with Reagan in Chenzhou City and both couples have agreed to get information for us if they can. We've asked them to take pictures, talk to the director, maybe get a video for us. It may be too much to hope for. I've resigned myself to not knowing anything more, not seeing her again until it's for real but...I can't help but hope. Please join us in praying for the safe trips of our friends and also that they will have a chance to find out more for us about our daughter. They simply may not be able to and I accept that but their willingness to try in the midst of their own joy is such a gift to me. We are truly blessed.

Mother, May I?

So Sunday was my first official Mother's Day. Danny made me a delicious breakfast and we feasted while sitting on our front porch swing. Then I did some yardwork before church. I brought in lovely, grape-scented iris (my favorites!) and refreshed all the vases in the house. I wore my favorite "little black dress" and felt pretty and girly all morning. It was a gorgeous day filled with simple pleasures like worshipping my God, eating with our dear friends, the Bunnings and snoozing in our basement. The only thing missing was the REASON I get to celebrate Mother's Day. Ru wasn't here but she will be next year! Lord, thank you for Reagan RuXian! Please watch over her as the days fall away and our gotcha moment draws near.