Reagan is snoozing. I'm taking the time to blog. Danny's at work.
And, yet in just over an hour, our social worker will be here for our FINAL visit.
The first time we had one of these things, I cleaned for 3 days straight.
Today I shoved some pooh in the closet, wiped down the bathrooms and ran my hand over the dustiest part of the dining room table, smeared the findings on the back of my jeans and kept moving.
For the first visit, Danny and I went over tons of adoption-related material, studying all the right answers, quizzing each other over what not to say so they'd let us have a child, please, oh please, oh please.
Today I flipped through a Fitness magazine.
Back in 2006 when we began the process, I baked from-scratch cookies for our social worker's home visit.
Today I made sure the faucet was still working so I could offer her some water.
Two summers ago, I sat on the floor in my closet analyzing the perfect outfit. What says "I'll be a fabulous mom" in just the right hues?
Today I found a pair of capris that fit and a red shirt without any stains on it and put them on. And, as an extra measure of hygiene, I swiped on some midday deodorant.
It's not that I'm lackadaisical or I don't care. It's just that this time, we're not out to prove we can be a family. We're in the thick of family and have nothing to prove to anyone. It's a good place to be.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Pictures, pictures, pictures!
Here are a few updated photos of our little princess. We took these at the zoo with buddy Jackson and just around our house and at the park. We can't believe how more and more she's little girl and less and less baby. :( We're trying to enjoy every, single moment!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84389878@N00/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/84389878@N00/
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
It's here
The stage I've truly been dreading has arrived.
Actual conversation between and Reagan and me today:
Me: I think we're going to go this way instead to avoid the light.
Reagan: Why?
Me: Well, I don't like crossing in all this traffic. If we go the back way, there are fewer cars.
Reagan: Why?
Me: The alley is smaller and it's bumpy. Cars don't like to drive on it but strollers can.
Reagan: Why?
Me: Because we're smaller, too, honey! We can just slip in here behind the buildings and pop out on the other side, closer to home.
Reagan: Why?
Me: Reagan, do you want some raisins?
Reagan: Yes, please!
It's been coming on for weeks. We tried to ignore it, to pretend that it was mere coincidence or an accident here and there...not a glimpse into our future. Now, my mom made it through two children without saying "Because I said so, that's why." I'm determined to do the same, darn it.
This from the person who swore she'd never use saliva to clean her child's body like some wild animal. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Actual conversation between and Reagan and me today:
Me: I think we're going to go this way instead to avoid the light.
Reagan: Why?
Me: Well, I don't like crossing in all this traffic. If we go the back way, there are fewer cars.
Reagan: Why?
Me: The alley is smaller and it's bumpy. Cars don't like to drive on it but strollers can.
Reagan: Why?
Me: Because we're smaller, too, honey! We can just slip in here behind the buildings and pop out on the other side, closer to home.
Reagan: Why?
Me: Reagan, do you want some raisins?
Reagan: Yes, please!
It's been coming on for weeks. We tried to ignore it, to pretend that it was mere coincidence or an accident here and there...not a glimpse into our future. Now, my mom made it through two children without saying "Because I said so, that's why." I'm determined to do the same, darn it.
This from the person who swore she'd never use saliva to clean her child's body like some wild animal. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Our Sweet One
So the other morning Reagan woke up far too early. I could hear her in there talking to herself for awhile, perhaps going over the plans for the day. Then she started her usual mantra..."Daddy? Mommy? Daddy? Mommy?" so I pulled myself out of bed and to her door.
I intended to go over the rules about not waking her parents before 9am and then only with breakfast in bed, etc. She has yet to grasp this concept but I haven't lost hope. Instead I found her standing up in her crib, smiling a huge smile. She wore just a onsie because it's been so hot at night lately. She said, "Hi, Mommy!" when I came into the room and gave me a little "heil Hitler" salute which works for her far more than it ever did for him. How could I put her back to bed? She's impossibly cute.
I stretched out on the floor while she scurried around the room, pulling out books, feeding her babies, babbling to herself. I covered up with her tiny blanket and let my eyes rest. A few minutes went by like this and then I felt her tugging on the blanket. I opened an eyeball and said, "No way, Jose. Mommy's cold. I want the blanket." Reagan stopped pulling on the blanket and stared at me for a moment, then she spread it back out over me as best she could and left me alone. I closed my eyeball.
Within ten seconds, I heard her getting into her dresser drawers, searching for clothing. I sat up and found her digging in her pants drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Reagan cold. Cold." I crawled out of my cocoon and felt her little legs and sure enough, they were covered in goosebumps. She'd let her mommy have her blanket while she went looking for warmth elsewhere.
Too sweet for words.
I intended to go over the rules about not waking her parents before 9am and then only with breakfast in bed, etc. She has yet to grasp this concept but I haven't lost hope. Instead I found her standing up in her crib, smiling a huge smile. She wore just a onsie because it's been so hot at night lately. She said, "Hi, Mommy!" when I came into the room and gave me a little "heil Hitler" salute which works for her far more than it ever did for him. How could I put her back to bed? She's impossibly cute.
I stretched out on the floor while she scurried around the room, pulling out books, feeding her babies, babbling to herself. I covered up with her tiny blanket and let my eyes rest. A few minutes went by like this and then I felt her tugging on the blanket. I opened an eyeball and said, "No way, Jose. Mommy's cold. I want the blanket." Reagan stopped pulling on the blanket and stared at me for a moment, then she spread it back out over me as best she could and left me alone. I closed my eyeball.
Within ten seconds, I heard her getting into her dresser drawers, searching for clothing. I sat up and found her digging in her pants drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Reagan cold. Cold." I crawled out of my cocoon and felt her little legs and sure enough, they were covered in goosebumps. She'd let her mommy have her blanket while she went looking for warmth elsewhere.
Too sweet for words.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Good news!
Ok, I feel better.
Friday I had pretty much thrown in the towel, had given in to the ickiness of motherhood.
Today, I'm my old self.
Reagan smeared a minuscule bit of chocolate on me right before church started and I completely freaked out.
Thank God!
I'm back!
Friday I had pretty much thrown in the towel, had given in to the ickiness of motherhood.
Today, I'm my old self.
Reagan smeared a minuscule bit of chocolate on me right before church started and I completely freaked out.
Thank God!
I'm back!
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