Answer Me This...

A few questions I had time to ponder on our 30+ hour journey home...with an 11 month old...

Why do airlines request our "help" with window shades? When we were preparing for lift off, every single airline we flew said, "please help the captain by opening your window shades for take off." Now, this concerns me. Is he using MY window to backup the plane? Does he use MY window to check the weather or spot flocks of birds? I mean, what is that about? Does he not have a window of his own? Does he need extra lighting? I'm so confused. I'm offering the naming rights to one of Reagan's stuffed animals to the first person who offers me a reasonable answer to this question.

How many times must we endure security? We were searched in Guangzhou, Hong Kong and again in Chicago. Now, we never left the airports except on airplanes. Where do they think we accessed the bombs? Where did we buy the poison? Danny even had to hand over Reagan's CHEERIOS (thank the good Lord she was asleep during this traumatic moment) so they could be X-rayed in Chicago. I had to WAKE up my sleeping child (sacrilege, IMHO) so they could pat her down in case we'd strapped explosives to her or something. Unreal. The terrorists need not kill themselves for our country to fall. They need only to wait while our airline security personnel slowly send each and everyone one of us to the funny farm...without sewing scissors, obviously. Safety first.

Why is it that we paid thousands of dollars for the privilege to fly in their hunks of metal but the airline could not provide a few simple services, even those we requested weeks ago? Want a bassinet for baby? Well, you must request that when you pay for the tickets. Done. Want a bassinet for baby? Well, you also need to ask when you get your boarding passes. Done. And at the gate. Done. And when you see the flight crew. Done. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. We don't have a wall bassinet available. You really should have asked for that when you called your ticketing agent. We do have this crummy, ol' floor bassinet which also doubles as my gym bag. Perhaps you'd be interested in that?" OR what about the headphones and arm rest controls? I've yet to travel where everyone in my row had working headphones and controls. You'd think they could fix that. And don't get me started on the "food." Good grief. I won't be flying again for a while.